How to Prepare for Court: Staying Calm, Credible, and Confident

Preparing for court can be overwhelming, especially in the cases involving sensitive issues, conflict, or past trauma. Many clients tell me they struggle to sleep the night before or wake up feeling anxious, frustrated, or on edge. These feelings are completely normal. The good news is that there are concrete steps you can take to stay grounded, present, and credible in front of the judge.

Below are practical, trauma-informed strategies to help you prepare the morning of your court appearance.

1. Start Your Morning Calmly: Set the Tone for the Day

Avoid rushing. Give yourself extra time so you aren’t adding unnecessary stress.

Natural relaxation techniques that help within minutes:

• Deep breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 2, exhale for 6. Repeat 5–10 times. This slows your heart rate and signals safety to your nervous system.

• Grounding: Place both feet on the floor, notice the sensation of support beneath you, and slowly roll your shoulders back.

• Warm shower or light stretching: Helpful for releasing tension stored in the body.

• Short walk or light movement: Especially good if you wake up feeling restless or anxious.

2. Remind Yourself: You Don’t Have to Prove Everything in One Breath

Court can feel high-stakes, but your job when you’re on the stand or addressing the judge is to stay present and answer each question clearly and honestly.

Before you speak:

• Pause. Take a breath.

• Think. It’s absolutely okay to take a moment before answering.

• Respond slowly. A calm pace strengthens your credibility.

You never need to rush. Judges actually appreciate thoughtful answers.

3. Don’t Talk Over the Judge, Even When You’re Anxious and Even When They’re Wrong.

This is one of the most common reactions when someone is overwhelmed or trying to defend themselves. But in court, credibility is half the case, and credibility is closely tied to calm communication.

Helpful reminders:

• If the judge speaks, stop immediately.

• If you accidentally interrupt, simply say, “I’m sorry, Your Honor,” and pause.

• Keep your tone respectful and steady.

These small behaviors go a long way in how the court perceives you

4. When the Other Side Says Something Untrue

This is where emotions can surge. Hearing lies or distortions about your life, your character, or your parenting can feel deeply triggering. It can bring on anger, confusion, or the urge to interrupt.

Remind yourself:

• Just because they said it doesn’t make it true.

• The judge has not accepted their version.

• The judge will hear both sides before making any decision.

Your attorney will have the chance to respond. Your composure in these moments is often more powerful than any outburst would be.

A useful mantra: “I don’t need to react. The truth will come out in the process.”

5. Present Yourself as Calm and Collected, Even If You Don’t Feel That Way

Judges are trained to observe body language, tone, responsiveness, and demeanor. These are all pieces of the credibility puzzle.

Ways to appear grounded:

• Sit upright, shoulders relaxed.

• Keep your hands still or resting in your lap.

• Focus your gaze on whoever is speaking.

• Speak slowly and clearly.

You don’t need to be emotionless, you just need to be composed.

6. Give Yourself Grace

Court is stressful for everyone. Feeling anxious is not a sign that you’re unprepared or doing something wrong. It’s a normal human response to a difficult situation.

What matters most is that you show up honest, prepared, respectful, and steady. That alone places you in a strong position.

TLDR:

You are more prepared than you think. You know your truth, your experiences, and what brought you here. The court process may feel intimidating, but you’re not alone - and with the right grounding techniques and guidance, you can walk into that courtroom feeling capable, confident, and credible.

If you need support preparing for court or want personalized guidance, I’m here to help.